Like this is a big Surprise

Unhappy ... women expect divorce more often than men do, according to new figures / file DIVORCE comes as a shock to most husbands. Their wives are less surprised.

In the year before their marriage breaks up, most husbands - 55 per cent - rate their satisfaction with the relationship at eight out of 10 or more.
Their wives know better, and only 38 per cent give their marriage such a favourable rating in the year before it collapses.

These findings come from the latest social survey into the behaviour of households, conducted by the Melbourne Institute and funded by the Howard Government.

The Housing Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia survey found most couples are happy in their relationships, with 85 per cent of men and 80 per cent of women expressing high levels of satisfaction.

Although about 40 per cent of marriages eventually end in divorce, fewer than 2 per cent break up each year.

Among couples who are still together, 2.5 per cent of women are dissatisfied (giving the relationship a rating of three out of 10), while 1.8 per cent of men are dissatisfied.

Official figures show two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women.

One of the biggest stress points for couples is children. The survey asked parents whether they felt trapped by their responsibilities to their children, with the answers as indicators of parental stress.

The researchers found that in couples with high levels of parental stress, only 20 per cent of the fathers and 28 per cent of the mothers reported high levels of satisfaction in their relationship.

Couples with low levels of parenting stress were much happier in their relationships, with 54 per cent of women and 60 per cent of men expressing high levels of satisfaction. The survey found 7.6 per cent of couples find their children stressful while 13.5 per cent of single parents - almost double - find parenting stressful.

The good news is that it gets easier. More than half the parents who reported high levels of stress in 2001 had reduced the level to moderate by 2003.

Mothers stay worried longer, with 45 per cent of those who were highly stressed in 2001 still suffering two years later, whereas only 31 per cent of fathers were still highly troubled by their children after two years.

I have to say, i was 25 and not yet married, when my mother and father divorced. When my mother told me, i was beside myself with fear about what my dad was going to say after she said she was leaving. LOL it was like a huge surprise to him......." i never knew anything was wrong"? Then i had them both hounding me for legal advice......no way was i going to be the meat in their divorce sandwhich. Turned out my mum got the raw deal..settlement wise and she remarried again.........to a drunk.....my dad spent years travelling the pacific islands!