You dirty Rat!

J ust when i think i have 'seen it all' in this business another 'cracker' jumps right out and slaps you in the face!
Today was TV installation day! Keeping in trend with every other day i'm due i court, i was running late this morning. These days, i just loathe having to go in. Not my work...ilove it too much, but the construction going on surrounding the whole block. A brand new supermarket with specialty stores has taken up 200 old carparking spaces, combined with road blocks and the fact that the courts are in the "city heart", it makes for a very busy place and if your not in the city by 8.15, you may as well park your car, 10 blocks away and walk.
So this morning just after 9am i arrive complete with TV, wall brackets, briefcase and files. Not one car park anywhere in the vecinity. How was i going to carry a tv all the way up 3 flights of steps? Hmmmmm.....judges car park? LOL, not if i value my life! Ah huh!! Loading Bay....20mins max! Cool, that will do me, no stairs and only 200 metres to the door!
So in i go....closer i got to the door the longer my arms became! A baliff saw me and came a runnin! So after some chit chat and long time no sees, he offered to take it all off my hands and organise installation!!! Yiipppeeeee...TY John! So i figure well whilst i'm here, i may as well race up stairs to the Public Prosecutors office and grab some paperwork they had organised for me and make sure i have all my trial dates correct. After i was shafted out of some money by a bunch of prosecutors, LOL, it was for raffle tickets....you win money and a 2 litre bottle of whiskey........I hate whiskey, but these guys refused to let me leave making idle threats of violence and the loss of bodily organs!!!! Knowing i need my kidneys, i handed the money over willingly :( 'Don't worry, we'll make sure you win', said "A"...hmmmm i bet they do! Anyhow, having tv installation time on my hands i thought i would wander down a few floors and 'crash' a trial or 2!
Hmmm decisons...do i sit in on some sentencings OR do i listen to all the opening statements.......cool, favorite Judge is doing opening statement.....that's the one for me!
So in i wander,hmm anyone i know....yep, smartarse gimme money for whiskey prosecuter is prosecuting this matter............lets see how clever you are wise arse!
So proceedings begin after some legal argument, all appears to be going smoothly. It's an open court so anyone is able to watch as long as they sit in the back row and keep quite!
I heard the doors open and figured people must have come in to view........perhaps family members? No one walked passed me. So as i sat there listening....checking out the jury.....i heard someone at the back of the court room mumble something. I went to turn around.......and a jury member started laughing...HUH??? i thought.......she's looking at me.....i look down..................A DIRTY GREAT BIG RAT!!!! is near my feet!



FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU%%%%$$$$$$$......LOL, i jumped up on the seat....the judge put a halt to proceedings...............and that was the end....the whole place just went into chaos! I was busy laughing at the judge who was ordering the baliff to 'catch the rat' LOL.....it's owner was sitting at the back of the court calling "Michelle.....Michelle" in a french accent! Yes.....the rat was called Michelle! Bastards! Turns out it was his pet, lives in his pocket and had escaped.............well DUH! You see security check for a million things...rats aint one of em! Remember people.....no pets in the courtroom! I made my escape, remembering i was parked in a loading bay....it had been an hour and a half! No parking ticket...yippeeeeeeeee. So, that my friends was my morning!

till next time, Michelle.