De Sensitised

IFEEL like I've had my fill. I've noticed lately that any sort of violence I see, whether real or constructed, makes me feel ill.Despite being a pacifist by nature, I've never been particularly perturbed about a bit of blood and gore. I used to watch with amusement as other family members spent the better part of most movies with their hands over their eyes, occasionally peeking through fingers to get a glimpse of the scene, asking, "is it over yet?"
This response didn't just apply to violent and bloody scenes, though. I recall my mum and brother recoiling in horror while watching the movie Turner and Hooch – the "man's best friend" movie about a dog and Tom Hanks. They both couldn't stand the part where the camera focuses on the slobber-drenched mouth of Hooch while he shakes his head in slow motion.
I, on the other hand, would be in fits of laughter at scenes like this.
Now I have noticed I am experiencing a physical response to telly or movie violence that is curious and new.
To me, it doesn't make much sense that I could go for all these years, having grown up watching all sorts of created and actual violence and its consequences, and now, get all sooky about it. I would have thought that I was desensitized enough to violence by now. Not so.
But I have a theory about it. I wonder if there is a point that we all reach, beyond desensitization to such things, that we become more sensitive than when we started out? We reach a saturation point. Perhaps this response is a little like what I understand of alcoholism. Initially a drinker takes in a lot of alcohol to get drunk. But after a while, the body becomes so used to having alcohol that even a small amount is intoxicating. Maybe it is that the organs are so damaged by previous abuse that they can't work against the drug so well?
Perhaps the same can be said of exposure to violence. A recent example of this new response was following the final episode of teen drama The OC, when one of the main characters shot someone. I'm not overly attached to this program or the characters in fact i think it's rubbish but I found myself having to repeat the mantra I learned growing up: "it's just make believe". Although it didn't seem to work very well.
I've noticed that when actors are being interviewed, they are often asked about certain aspects of the character crossing over into their own likes and dislikes, preferences, life situation, almost as if the interviewer has forgotten that there is a separation between the actor and the role they have played. Is it that we get so caught up in the virtual reality of what happens on our screens that we can no longer see it as just make believe?
Admittedly, television has become more graphic over the years. The boundaries have been pushed further and further, without too much resistance. Perhaps the incremental changes in the portrayal of violence are finally becoming real to us. As if we are waking up from a drunken sleep and noticing the hang over is particularly unpleasant.
till next time, Michelle.