Get me a Pumpkin, Quick!

LAST week, I went out in search of a giant pumpkin. "I want one the size of a basketball," I said. "Nothing smaller than that."Alas, I've been disappointed. Try as i did, it's impossible to find a decent-sized pumpkin in Australia and worse, the pumpkins you do find are all filled with pumpkin. To explain: in the US, it's compulsory to go out in the month of October and buy a giant pumpkin to carve up like a jack-o'-lantern. Every store - even the pharmacies - sells giant pumpkins, and they are empty inside. That is to say, there was no actual pumpkin inside these pumpkins, just orange tendrils and seeds.
They are grown like that because empty pumpkins are easy to carve. It's like cutting into a cardboard box. You chop off the top, put a candle inside and bingo, you're ready for Halloween.
By comparison, Australians tend not to celebrate Halloween. Well, except for me. I just love the pumpkin carving!
Some Australians do have a strong, negative reaction to Halloween. They think Halloween is an American celebration and they don't want to "Americanise" the Australian culture (such a shame, since American culture is responsible for the Hummer, the cowboy hat, Brad Pitt and fried chicken. What more could you ask of a country?) As it happens, Halloween isn't American; it's a Celtic tradition.
It was called All Hallows' Eve and it was a night when evil spirits and ghosts supposedly roamed the Earth, making mischief. The Irish took the custom to America, and Americans adopted and perfected it.
Now, it goes without saying that plenty of Australians - especially on the Left - have an entirely ridiculous antipathy towards the US. They don't like Halloween because they like to pretend the US is somehow the enemy, instead of our greatest ally and a key trading partner. Others think Halloween is just another artificial event, invented by retailers for profit. As if that's a bad thing.
Plenty of retailers wouldn't mind another important event on the calendar, so they could sell pumpkins, candy, candles, costumes, face paint, and floating eyeballs to go in the Halloween punch.
Still, it's catching on, and that's a good thing because - let me assure you - Halloween is absolutely the sweetest event of the year. First, it's all about the children. They get to dress up in cute little costumes and indulge their wildest fantasies.
Halloween encourages people to open their doors to their neighbours and it generates community spirit.
One curmudgeon in my office says trick-or-treaters have visited his home in past Halloweens. He's unhappy with parents who send their children banging on the door and demanding gifts, and if any come this year, in revenge he's going to give the callers a screw-top bottle of wine instead of lollies ( candy in American!).
He misses the point. Not everybody has to participate. In the US, giggling children are taught not to approach the homes that have the porch light off.
They just throw eggs at those.

till next time, Michelle.