Thursday, February 23, 2006

Cracking the Sads!

Well, here i am this "funk" "fog" what ever you wish to call it...."attack of the sads"...who knows. It appears to be cursing many other of my blogging friends as well.
The last few weeks i have felt rather tense, stressed, flustered and less tolerant of those in my life. I hate feeling like this, i feel like a twisted ball. It most definately is not me......or perhaps it is me, at my extreme. I am not depressed, i have seen depression in a number of friends, and whilst we all tend to make light of "being depressed", depression is a deep dark hole that many cannot draw themselves out of. I most certainly am not like that.

Trying to pin point certain triggers is difficult. The constant heat, my foot being in so much pain ( did i tell you i have spurs in my right heel?), i swear i am going to bite the bullet in a few weeks and tell my doc to give me the needles in my heel....i know it will hurt like shit, but anything has to be better than this pain. I know sleep is lacking...i get 5 or 6 hours 7 nights a week. I know i don't eat enough fruit, drink enough water,not enough exercise. All would contribute to an extent.
My boss.............crap, there's another huge contributor. However, i had it out once and for all with her yesterday, said my piece, told her never to undermine me again or attempt to assume anything about me or i walk. I sure feel better about that, but i really think a big factor is not enough hours in the day. I just can't get everything done. I am dead tired between 3pm and 6pm, then get a second wind, and am raring to go till 11pm! No sooner has my head hit the pillow, its 5am!!
Yes i hear everyone saying , to leave stuff, but if i do that it builds up. It's not in my nature, i want to do it ALL, i want to experience it all!! Life's too short, i have still have millions of things i want to accomplish damn it! I need to snap out of the "sads" and get back into reality, i have University starting back on Monday to cope with as well.........i know i can do it, i need to exercise more, get my groove back build my energy levels back up so my coping skills don't fall in a hole. I have to.

till next time, Michelle.

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