To the Victor comes the Spoils

I don't quite know what i have done to deserve the spoils of the last week or so. It feels as though i have stepped out of one world and into another! Why is it when good things happen to friends and family i am genuinely happy for them? Congratulate them, and tell them they deserve the riches bestowed upon them. Now, i find myself in a position where i have had some fortune come my way, and the cynic in me automatically kicks in and questions why. What's the trade off?? What negative/misfortune is headed my way to counteract all the good fortune?

Monday my new job begins. I am virtually left to my own devices, full autonomy. My new employer trusts me that much? I could basically sit at home and turn up when i felt like it. Throw in a new car, petrol and a very generous salary, all for 24 hrs work. I am feeling very very anxious and my confidence is at a new time low. What if i can't do the job? What if my clients hate me? I am shit scared :(

Today i received a phonecall from my current boss wanting to know what i would be doing on a particular date in September. Why? Well it appears i am required to attend the yearly AGM, i have been chosen as 'Employee of the Year".....presentation of flowers...plaque....life membership. Me.

My child is happy, well adjusted, performing brilliantly at school. My own studies are moving forward and have contributed to me being able to work in my field of choice.

Surely something/someone, is just waiting around the corner to sabotage it all. Or, am i doing a decent enough hatchet job on my own?


If i thought time was difficult to come by before, god help me from Monday onwards.on