Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I'm Void of Kissing Cowboys!

Now let me just get this straight. Apparently it's fine, indeed laudable, to stalk, torture and murder a couple of young women on film, but it's not fine for men to kiss each other.We've had a flurry of tut-tutting from men who think just that. Women, too, for all I know, but it's the men who feel the need to tell us.
The movie Brokeback Mountain has been banned from cinemas in my city, and many others. That's right, a male city i his ivory tower has decided for me that i would be better off not having the opportunity to view this movie.
What a funny old world we live in when we hardly fuss about the nastiness and ultimate negativity of Wolf Creek, but a humane and challenging story such as Brokeback Mountain causes grown men to cover their heads with pillows and whimper pathetically.
No, no, don't make me watch blokes kiss. Ooooooo, yucky yucky.
To those fellows – hopefully a minority – who have vowed to leave the city, nay the country, rather than sit through a film about men falling in love, can we just say, calm down sweeties. We're not asking you to go out and emulate Heath Ledger. Indeed, we're definitely not asking you to go out and emulate him. Just because you got to kiss Jake Gyllenhaal – and did it well – doesn't mean you can get away with spitting at people.
What is it about heterosexual men and their terror of homosexuality? We used to surmise that any man who screeched and covered their eyes at the very mention of men having sex with other men needed to . . . ahem . . . examine their own fear. Could this possibly mean that they had woken up in the middle of the night, smiling at a sweet dream where they had been kissing their best mate, only to break out in a cold sweat at what they thought this might imply?
There's a heavy dose of narcissism implicit in blokey culture so it's no wonder the average bloke runs scared at the very idea of finding another man sexy.
Back in the heady days of last century when we were more relaxed and comfortable about such things, we would have laughed and told the panicky men not to worry, that human sexuality is neither straightforward nor scary and to find yourself admiring Jonathan Brown's bottom – as you do – doesn't mean you want to go to bed with him.
Trust me, it does not mean that.
Nowadays, as I heard an athlete, a diver, say on ABC Radio, it's a good thing to be narrow-minded. I think he meant single-minded, but then again . . . I'm very narrow-minded, our sportsman said, I am focusing on just one thing, winning.
Before I get back to the panicky men who reckon they're not homophobic but they'd rather watch murder, mayhem and South Africa win the cricket than a couple of hunks kissing and enjoying it. Honey, by just watching the movie, aint gonna make you gay!
Back to the boys: to denounce Brokeback Mountain as a film about something distasteful is neither single-minded, nor narrow-minded . . . it's not minded at all. It's plain stupid.
Now having said all this, even if it were showing in my city, i wouldn't be venturing out to see it. It's just not my kind of movie, never been into cowboys....and yes, i am well aware there is more to the story than that. Still, i would have liked to have made that choice myself, not have some maroon make it for me.

till next time, Michelle.


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